They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize