i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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