The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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