I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
