life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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