my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
