once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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