What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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