Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You can't just leave with hair like that
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
