my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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