Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
