I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
