sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I party with great urgency now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
