is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
