You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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