I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
