Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize