It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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