he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
