Its about making memories worth repressing
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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