I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
