he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
