We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
