My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
