Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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