You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
