dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
