Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
