I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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