they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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