I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
