so explain again why im purple
no
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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