does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
