Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
