Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
