.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
