I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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