he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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