maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
