we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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