I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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