It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize