So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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