On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
