we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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