I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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