we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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