i wish there were pregnant emoticons
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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