i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You left your phone here
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