Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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