Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
