Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
