New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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