laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
