Me too!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The uberlube is also flammable
Drunk is not a location!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
