It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
