i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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