did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
