Non-Jews are for practice
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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