In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
