i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize