Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
