I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
