i don't like sucking hair
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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