I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You dont lie about slip and slides
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
