I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
